Friday, May 24, 2013


Ha! I made you look...

So, after yesterday's killer vegan story, I saw some shit on the news this morning again. I really never learn. Much like the youth of today. Introducing Angie Motshekga, South Africa's greatest advert for avoiding procreation. She's certainly making a hash of getting the little children to learn their 123s and ABCs, especially with her insistence that even the board duster be given a diploma in the end. No books, no walls, no roof, and no fucking hope of contributing to the workplace, economy, society or anything of any worth. I reckon we should put Gandalf in charge of South Africa's basic education. "None shall pass!" should be the credo. At least the standard of schoolboy rugby will go up, since the average matriculant will be old enough to walk his own kid to school...

Here are some interesting (or just plain kak) observations:

  • If you were to ask an Afrikaans gentleman what tortillas were, given the proper Spanish pronunciation, he'd assume you were talking about a penis jacket.
  • At first, I thought Juggernaught's 'Bring The Meat Back' album was about recreating virginity.
  • I will never be able to hear the Sisters Of Mercy classic 'Detonation Boulevard' without it being changed to 'Defecation Boulevard' in my head from now on... and neither will you.
  • The current front runner for most offensive pick up line in a bar is "I'm gonna bone you 'til I own you." Although I have a sneaking suspicion it might just work.
  • The internet was invented so that people could feel like trendsetters by sharing pictures that have been making the rounds for weeks already.
  • Beardos (Beanies with detachable woollen beards) are the worst idea since some tit with nothing better to do on a Thursday morning found himself in that bric-a-brac shop that used to be on Kloof Street, saw a Trilby hat, and thought to himself' "Hey that would look good on me... Aren't I different."

Aaaaand on that note, let's look forward to the weekend. Tomorrow I get mah Tara Reid on. Beer pong. I have never played it before (I've been warned I could get the Aids or the Herp. I thought that was from a different game involving cups...) And since it will inevitably end up with me face planting the playing table and emerging from the entire fiasco a sodden hot mess, I am going to wear a white tshirt and hope to emerge victorious in the wet tshirt competition. Against some "hefty" competition. La Senza could open a fucking shop around the braai tomorrow...

Gaan kry vir die oom nog n bier dan kan jy n slukkie kry.

Use it - don't use it.

NGDG: So you backward Nigerian twats killed a drummer. St.Anger was ten years ago.

Spread The Love. One Cup At A Time.

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