Thursday, May 23, 2013


Everything that's wrong with the world.

So, with which superhero do YOU most identify? Do you feel like you're Spiderman? Or are you more like the Dark Knight, all mysterious and probably still jacking off in your mom's basement? I know The Hot Girlfriend is very into Superman. Clearly. I sometimes even wear my underpants inside my trousers...

You'll have to forgive my flippant tone. I am one of the few people who never got into the whole superhero thing. I never could quite understand the concept of collecting comics you weren't allowed to enjoy either. Unlike CDs. The entire premise is flawed anyway. A comic book collector ostensibly collects to turn an eventual profit, right? Have you ever seen a serious collector gladly hand over some of his mint condition children without crying?

I get Calvin & Hobbes. Even Mad Magazine. And I loved Asterix & Obelix as a child, and indeed, as an "adult". But the Green Lantern? Fuck off.

But... I am wrong. (Not words you'll often hear...) I still fervently collect CDs (those shiny flat discs found dangling and spinning from the rearview mirrors of taxis) and guitars. Unfortunately guitars are a little expensive to collect more of, and I'll never have enough, but we're making plans...
Me telling you that collecting comics is daft, is the same as my mom telling me it's just a plank with strings attached. Not so. Each one has its own soul, its own characteristic, its own feel and its own personality. And it's own distinct discordant squeal of anguish when I molest it.

Which brings me to last night. Rose Thorn proved once again what an accomplished musician she is by interpreting my garbled gibberish instructions into masterpieces - better than I could have hoped for - even if I'd been able to express myself effectively enough to make her understand what I wanted. Not only that, I also learned to play another song I love, courtesy of another maestro, Little Spoon. I spent far too much time post-practice downing wine and playing the same song over and over again (replete with perma-grin) and today I feel like I've just tried to outrun the Great Annual Wildebees Serengeti Migration and failed at the last minute under a storm of flailing hooves.

And I plan on feeling even worse on Sunday morning. Our suite has been booked, so no arguments over who is designated driver. I've heard of beer pong. I've just never seen it or played it. That all changes this Saturday. I'll leave the rest up to your fertile imaginations...

Ah yes, I was blathering on about Superheros. Tonight, I get home, put on some suitably fast-paced and aggressive music, and slip into an orange leotard and blue cape. Anything short of full transformation into Mr Muscle will just not get the damn house clean. That is of course, unless Tarty Farty Tequila Party has alternate plans...

NGDG: [Well, nothing today, but I guaran-damn-tee he's thinking something awesome!]

Spread The Love. Undies On The Outside!

1 comment:

  1. Orange leotard and blue cape you say? Oh yes, I do have plans. To pop around at an unannounced time to verify if you are anything like Mr Muscle. I will take photos and blog about tomorrow. Don't try and hide, I know where you live.