Friday, May 31, 2013

WHAT'S THAT PINK THING BEHIND THE BALLS?


It's Irreverent Friday. So...

...here are a few things you should know about me, in the spirit of full disclosure:

  • I absolutely LOVE boobs, but then I am in no way unique in that.
  • Music drives, excites, motivates and envelopes me.
  • Popular sonic art leaves me with the crushing despair usually reserved for Woody Allen movies and South Africa's rampant descent into Mugabeville.
  • In much the same way as Snatch's pikeys, I like dags.
  • But I fucking hate pikeys!
  • The picture has nothing to do with the content. As usual...
  • I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings.
  • I shook hands with Tom Araya, Kerry King, Jeff Hanneman (RIP) and Paul Bostaph. This one's for you, DrHellCuz...
  • I once drank with the Cavanaugh brothers of Anathema fame.
  • Even more importantly I have on many occasions gotten drunk with the following world famous members of Grämlich, Revellus, Ashes At My Grave, Axxon and SubVerS: TDB, GrumpyPants, Pielkop, JDP, Rose Thorn, CSLS, The Fonz, Fatboy, Guns, The Greek, Captain Clavicle (Az Goth As It Gets), Daddy Long Legs, Little Spoon, LordDoom, Herr Grun, Arse-King, The Little Teapot, McScoot and last but by no means least, BIGGIE. Oh, and some people who were in some bands that I wasn't in... 
  • I make lists of inconsequential shit when I have nothing of any value to contribute.
  • My little sister is better than yours, and so is my Brother-In-Awe.
  • I'm Brian Of Nazareth and so is my wife.
  • I'm going to watch a nifty band called CROAK tonight. Should be very interesting.
  • I want you all to watch this right now and prepare for ear-drool.
  • You lack the fortitude to ignore that link - it's like licking elbows.
  • I have all 10 fingers and all 10 toes.
  • I sometimes channel Martha Stewart when I prance around the house in my green tracksuit pants, cooking up culinary delights.
  • Similarly, every now and then I don Keith Kirsten's floppy towelling hat and admire my green thumbs.
  • I am singlehandedly renovating my home, that's probably why I got the black lung, Pop...
  • The greatest band on earth is Robert Smith.
  • Or Michael Gira.
  • Or My Dying Bride.
  • Or Paradise Lost.
  • I've recently taken up worshipping satan. Actually that's a lie. It's worse. I started running. 
  • I like animal charities. Look out for the next one. I'll bleed you dry!
  • My cohort in criminal activity and general kak-aan-jaag-ery is without a doubt Tarty Farty Tequila Party.
  • You'll never hear Robbie Williams singing 'Millenium' again without substituting the word 'Perineum'... (ok, so sometimes the content does have something to do with the picture.)
  • I'm not above using spellcheck. (Although having said that, I'll probably let through a clanger today!)
  • I hold a dim view of politics and an even dimmer view of those that allow themselves to be bamboozled by it.
  • Techno-phobia is as real as ornithophobia. Fuck birds!
  • I was in the army as a conscript and old enough to vote in '94.
  • Which defies the laws of mathematics, since I'm still technically only in my early 20s.
  • I really enjoy it when people get me instead of being confronted with vacant stares and slightly concerned condescension.
  • I have an insanely Hot Girlfriend. So whela!
  • I'm off to buy beer for a weekend of manic partying, and then some football.

Have an awesome one, everyone!

NGDG: Hi, I'm Neal and I have to confess that I like musicals.

Spread The Love. I Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life.

1 comment:

  1. Ooooh, I got a special mention! Right up there with Robert Smith. Good thing I may have found the perfect birthday present for you. Has something to do with not only one, but TWO of your great loves. See ya tomorrow my partner-in-crime... let's try not to get arrested...

    ReplyDelete