WHAT'S THAT PINK THING BEHIND THE BALLS?

It's Irreverent Friday. So...

...here are a few things you should know about me, in the spirit of full disclosure:

• I absolutely LOVE boobs, but then I am in no way unique in that.
• Music drives, excites, motivates and envelopes me.
• Popular sonic art leaves me with the crushing despair usually reserved for Woody Allen movies and South Africa's rampant descent into Mugabeville.
• In much the same way as Snatch's pikeys, I like dags.
• But I fucking hate pikeys!
• The picture has nothing to do with the content. As usual...
• I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings.
• I shook hands with Tom Araya, Kerry King, Jeff Hanneman (RIP) and Paul Bostaph. This one's for you, DrHellCuz...
• I once drank with the Cavanaugh brothers of Anathema fame.
• Even more importantly I have on many occasions gotten drunk with the following world famous members of Grämlich, Revellus, Ashes At My Grave, Axxon and SubVerS: TDB, GrumpyPants, Pielkop, JDP, Rose Thorn, CSLS, The Fonz, Fatboy, Guns, The Greek, Captain Clavicle (Az Goth As It Gets), Daddy Long Legs, Little Spoon, LordDoom, Herr Grun, Arse-King, The Little Teapot, McScoot and last but by no means least, BIGGIE. Oh, and some people who were in some bands that I wasn't in... 
• I make lists of inconsequential shit when I have nothing of any value to contribute.
• My little sister is better than yours, and so is my Brother-In-Awe.
• I'm Brian Of Nazareth and so is my wife.
• I'm going to watch a nifty band called CROAK tonight. Should be very interesting.
• I want you all to watch this right now and prepare for ear-drool.
• You lack the fortitude to ignore that link - it's like licking elbows.
• I have all 10 fingers and all 10 toes.
• I sometimes channel Martha Stewart when I prance around the house in my green tracksuit pants, cooking up culinary delights.
• Similarly, every now and then I don Keith Kirsten's floppy towelling hat and admire my green thumbs.
• I am singlehandedly renovating my home, that's probably why I got the black lung, Pop...
• The greatest band on earth is Robert Smith.
• Or Michael Gira.
• Or My Dying Bride.
• Or Paradise Lost.
• I've recently taken up worshipping satan. Actually that's a lie. It's worse. I started running. 
• I like animal charities. Look out for the next one. I'll bleed you dry!
• My cohort in criminal activity and general kak-aan-jaag-ery is without a doubt Tarty Farty Tequila Party.
• You'll never hear Robbie Williams singing 'Millenium' again without substituting the word 'Perineum'... (ok, so sometimes the content does have something to do with the picture.)
• I'm not above using spellcheck. (Although having said that, I'll probably let through a clanger today!)
• I hold a dim view of politics and an even dimmer view of those that allow themselves to be bamboozled by it.
• Techno-phobia is as real as ornithophobia. Fuck birds!
• I was in the army as a conscript and old enough to vote in '94.
• Which defies the laws of mathematics, since I'm still technically only in my early 20s.
• I really enjoy it when people get me instead of being confronted with vacant stares and slightly concerned condescension.
• I have an insanely Hot Girlfriend. So whela!
• I'm off to buy beer for a weekend of manic partying, and then some football.

Have an awesome one, everyone!

NGDG: Hi, I'm Neal and I have to confess that I like musicals.

Spread The Love. I Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life.