Wednesday, May 29, 2013


I have nothing to say. Very much unlike Mr James "Ima shoot some shit" Hetfield when he screams out the opening lines to The Misfits' "Last Caress"...

Well, I could tell you all about how I don't have to cook. Ever again. Until some time next week. Tonight I have lasagna made by The Hot Girlfriend. Tomorrow night is the Brother-In-Awe's birthday and dinner at his place. Friday night THG and I will be enjoying what's left of the feast I concocted last night, Saturday I won't care about eating and Sunday is birthday lunch time.

Concocted is a weird word.

Here's something you probably haven't noticed. Cataholics are merely one letter from being kiddie fiddlers. I'm a Dogoholic, and that has sweet fuck all to do with my taste in women. Clearly. And, like my tshirt says (I know that Kerry King has the very same one, by the way) I am not an alcoholic, I'm a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings. So there...

Oh yes, this morning there was this whole stink on the telly about the South African Church Of Satan. Well fuck me! Really? Perhaps we should have tried a little harder to make fweindies in high school, huh? Now I'm all for the freedom of choice and religion and all, and even the choice not to recognise any, but these guys...
All they do is give the music that I love a bad name. Sure, a lot of the lyrical content in heavy metal deals with the occult and in some cases very definite references to the goatlord, but by and large these puny little tits are hiding their social inadequacies under black cloaked hoods and terrible make up. And they're the first to denounce other viewpoints. And have zero tolerance. And are just goofy looking social pariahs with a chip on their shoulders. And what's worse, they get blamed every time some stupid kid does something dumb or cruel in a desperate cry for help or attention. Drawing a pentagram on your parents' nicely cemented suburban double garage floor does not an evildoer of you make. Much less wearing a Slipknot tshirt. It's fucking mall-metal for fuck's sake. If you're that pathetic and would like to make a real impression, skip right past Cradle and go directly to Marduk's merch page.
But I'm going a little wayward here (ooooh, I hope they don't come a-recruitin'...). Yes that was it. Mainstream media hopping up and down on one foot and whistling and pointing at the poor ol' Satanists every time a high school loser gets it in his thick skull to misinterpret often meaningful lyrics. Literalists: kak on both sides of good and evil. I really wish people would see these isolated incidents for what they are and stop the sensationalist witch hunts. Why don't people recognise the root of the problem? Socially awkward adolescents are going to be drawn to groups that are perceived as outcasts because they think those people will understand them. Exhibit A: Cape Town's horrifically diluted goth scene.
Likewise, teenagers riddled with angst, anger and nowhere but the mall to go to where they can vent their frustration will turn to a form of music that resonates with their feelings. Hence shitty modern metal.
And kids with no sense of self worth or common sense will blindly follow whatever the radio and the tv tell them. A billion dollar per annum lunchbox printing business is born.

So instead of force feeding your kids the coward's solution and wondering why they don't all grow up to be hard-working, ambitious little goodie-two-shoes clones of yourself, try and admit that they're all just the victims of a dying world and as a result are beyond help and are all complete bastards. Just stop blaming external influences. Especially when you don't understand it any better than the intern writing for Huisgenoot can explain it.

It could be worse.

They could be hippies.

Death by slow atrophy due to non-existent personal hygiene.

Wow. Where did all that come from? Perhaps I should read it to see if it makes sense...

NGDG: It's only when you blind yourself and feel vulnerable and naked like a model in front of a big white umbrella that you realise why you procrastinated so long about replacing ALL the bulbs in the light fitting.

Spread The Love. Burn An X In Your Head.

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