Thursday, January 19, 2012


So last night I started my exercise routine. Since I am about as fit as an overcooked macaroni noodle right now (can't even cling to a ceiling) it was decided to take a nice easy stroll up and down the mountain path with Corporal Punishment. We were accompanied by Yoda the Staffie, and Phoebe and Jesse, the Jack Russells. So we took to the slopes like mountain goats and were deep in earnest conversation, going at quite a healthy clip when it dawned on us that we were being followed by a mysterious, heavy breathing, ominous apparition. Scared half to death and too terrified to look behind us lest we come face to face with this demonic, red spectre with its low eerie wail, we picked up the pace and started to get the heart rate up to a dangerous level, for me anyway.

Then we realised it was just Rose Thorn, bringing up the rear and not dealing with the humongous natural stair-master too well... She reminded me of the time Corporal Punishment led me directly into the maws of certain death on that very trail. I still can't believe I made it out of that alive.

Is everyone looking forward to a delightful evening in the company of Sabretooth tonight? I know I am! It'll rock! It'll roll! It'll have you raising horns and a few pints! And all the girlies are gonna lose their shit! Be prepared for a night of debauchery the likes of which you won't often see! I know for a fact that there are going to be some high flying, industry leading types there tonight, sharing this auspicious occasion. I'm talking major Radio Station owners, Event Management CEOs, PR specialists and even Publishing Moguls. I'm sure the glitterati of the local band scene will all be there as well, preening around, hoping to woo the young ladies, all of whom will be there solely for Sabretooth obviously. So here is your chance to rub shoulders with the "who's who in the zoo". I'll be at the bar acting obsequious...

Fuck me - I just got sooooo Punk'd! It's the gorgeous Tableau Vixen's birthday this week and we are celebrating with yet another braai (why do I do this to myself? Oh yes, now I remember, because my life rocks!) Anyway, I was informed that it was unnecessary for me to bring my own "tjop" as is the tradition at these things. I was told it was because we were all going to be eating soya, a statement met with some incredulity. In fact, I was dumbfounded, not something that happens too easily. It was like that time my buddies rocked up at my 21st with a Pop Shop 28 Compilation Tape and handed over my "gift" with straight faces. I somehow managed a very awkward and uncomfortable "Um... thanks... I think..." before they collapsed in a heap of helpless hysteria, no doubt having worked on this ruse for some time. Turns out I get to have my meat fix after all. Phew! That was close.

Time to switch off from the world and switch ON the telly. Cricket's about to start. Have an awesome weekend, y'all! Bless your irreverent little hearts.

NGDG: "I'm in full drag by 7am. Things can only go downhill from here."

Spread The Love. And The Braai Marinade.

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