MARY, MARY... QUITE CONTRARY

Pic courtesy of TLC

Actually no, Mary. I'm not talking to you here. Not NOT talking to you, as in we're having a tiff, just not addressing you. Fear not, all will be made whole again at the next LMG Pub Quiz...

Actually, I was referring to how my garden is growing. The one with plants. And a lawn. And, you'd better believe it, 23 tomatoes ripening away merrily on their way to sammitch or bolognaise heaven. I have also added to the variety of 11 secrets herbs and whatnot thanks to the Christmas presents from the band mates. Pretty soon I'll be trying to palm off my Ina-Paarman-esque concoctions on you, my dear readers.

But enough of that. Last night, after spending all afternoon lazing on the couch, drinking beer and watching some delightful test cricket, it was time to don the fancy threads once more and meet the family at On The Rocks. Wow! It had everything. The view, the beach, the service, the food! Kudu, that's all I'm saying. Kudu... Pity I seriously overestimated the dress code. My work ensemble of baggies, tshirt and plakkies would have sufficed. Instead you had the 'uncomfortably dapper giraffe at a funeral' look. No one even clapped hands. Or threw money...

So, once more into the breach... Back to life, back to reality. I have visions of Bernard Black shooing worthless layabouts out of his shop with a broom all of a sudden. Speaking of, Strawberry Shortcake (her nickname changes with her hair colour, she used to be Half Pint) got the Little Book Of Calm for Christmas. True story! Too brilliant!

And on to even more exciting news. Sheep Shagger is here visiting us from Further Down Under. It's been a while mate, can't wait for a couple of beers on Saturday! Think we should make a turn at Den Anker and have one of those beers for which they require your shoe as a deposit. A "Kwak" - oh yes! A Kwak! Worth the price and the cold foot just for the name alone!

More later, I was very busy watching Jacques Kallis smite the infidels' balls yesterday. Hence the early morning catch up post. Since so many of you moaned and wailed through gnashing teeth about missing my daily dose of whatever the fuck you call this. Let's see if Neal's up and at 'em yet...

NGDG: "They say it's good luck to have a sparrow shit on you. The luck factor must quadruple if it happens while you're in the mall, buying Clint Eastwood DVDs."

Spread The Love. Andrew Dice Clay Said It Best. Refer To Heading.