Tuesday, January 10, 2012

OR... THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY. OR MAYBE PORN...



I just challenged someone to come up with a topic for today's discussion and all they could muster was 'halogen lamps'. Seems we'll have to go with something a little more risque methinks.

And it's not the one that got away. In my humble opinion it is far more than one. For everyone. And it's not just that special significant other that used to light up your life, make your insides emulate laundry in a tumble dryer, or give you that mad, excited glint in your eye either. It could be missed opportunities, different paths chosen, split second decisions that have shaped who you are, where you're at and even who you're with.

Damn, even that sounds way too philosophical for today. We could chat porn...

There are actually people that don't get/like porn or those that appreciate it. And whilst I am inclined to agree that lecherous old bastards in beige trench coats parked outside schoolyards with Smarties on the passenger seats of their Cortinas give the rest of us a bad name, it's really not all that offensive. People rant about how it objectifies women. That's sexist. You're only aware of, or watching secretly, one kind of porn then. Porn doesn't discriminate, (except against dudes with small dicks - that's a pretty much universal theme), so if anything, it should be regarded as the great equaliser. Not to mention the only reliable teacher the next generation has - the world being as petty and performance driven as it is...

Are you looking forward to the day you have to sit down with your offspring and use the analogy of the flying insects to very inaccurately explain the "ins and outs" of sex? I'm not. It's only recently I can even do it with the lights on... Besides, I'll bet you their future pocket money they know more about the 'extreme sport' nature of sex than you do when that time comes. You're just going to embarrass yourself.

Don't they have that sort of thing at school these days, or is that just in American films? "Outcome driven", anyone??? Oh hang on, what do they teach in "Life Skills"? The rabbit goes around the tree and into the hole. Good boy Johnny! You've mastered tying your own Bata Toughees - here's your certificate, now go storm the barricades of a University that's overbooked and beyond your intellectual grasp simply because they're aware of the use of vowels. But hey! We live in a world where everyone is entitled by divine birthright to an education that up until now has been the preserve of the academic elite and the fabulously wealthy. PHD = Part-time Hair Dresser. BSC = Behind Shop Counter. As long as you have that nifty piece of paper and can spend eternity bemoaning your middle class fate. Try working harder. Or get into porn, I believe that's quite well paid...

NDGD: "The ANC, like anything pushing 100, is a weak, forgetful, demented, drooling shadow of whatever it once was. A burden essentially."

Spread The Love. It's In The Can. Sexy!

1 comment:

  1. You forgot the most common one!
    BA .... Bugger All ....

    ReplyDelete