Tuesday, January 22, 2013


From online web comic CTRL+ALT+DEL. Used without permission.

Some of you may have missed my post yesterday - considering it was SO exciting that I posted it really early. I couldn't help myself. And then I failed to link it up on most social media sites. I was clearly overcome with the prospect of your sheer delight at reading it.

That has sweet fuckall to do with today's post. Which, as usual, in fact has sweet fuckall to do with just about anything. The cricket is about to start, the telly is on in the office and I had better make this quick (see how devoted I am to you?)

I could easily go on about the utter farce that is local and worldwide politics, but I shall refrain, as it's nothing more than a variation on a theme. Although the following question raised itself the other day: Do the seemingly well educated citizens in America who voted to keep Obama in power only concern themselves with the ongoing domestic well being of their country, or are they aware of the reported war crimes against humanity that he and his ad-minestrone are being accused of throughout the rest of the World? Serious question. I cannot formulate an opinion unless I know what people are thinking.

Then there is the sports administration. And DO NOT get me started on the fucking commentary for the AFCON. I am an avid football fan and watch as much as I can, but if I have to hear "The beat at Africa's feet" or "Do you believe" from that delusional character again my new TV is in serious danger of death-by-projectile-beer-bottle. And then there's all the remonstrating with referees. Has anyone EVER seen a referee overturn a decision because the player in front of him was pleading innocence? It's like the players themselves have never heard of television coverage. I mean, come on! The cameras are so good these days, they can pick out what you had for breakfast a week ago. Am I an old fool, or is the only place for moral degeneration in front of a camera? On the set of a film with no story line...

Ok I suppose I can say something about it. First National Bank filmed a bunch of kids who gave individual  little State-Of-The-Nation addresses. Not like the make-believe utter wank we are forced to endure when the Prez 4 Lifebouy stammers his way through it, but the real on-the-ground version. They have now been accused of treacherous treason by the very ruling party that has been exposed by these youngsters, who were filmed imploring them to stop acting like such worthless c**ts and to start doing something to halt the rot that has set into our beautiful flagship of democracy. Fuck, I couldn't help myself. And the residents of Sasolburg were ALL filmed stealing and committing acts of vandalism because, well fuck it, they felt like it. It is worth noting that the looters all made off with armfuls of cheap booze, and not proper food for their households. If "Logic" were floated on the JSE, you'd witness the first commodity to plummet downwards from a zero start.

And in other - more terrifying - news, Rose Thorn is as high as fuck right now. She is going under the knife in a few short hours to have something of no use whatsoever surgically removed from her innards. We here at the offices of the Monster wish her and her long suffering male nurse, Commander Conker, the best of luck and a speedy recovery. I shall bring you jelly. As it is customary.

I've had enough. Screw these guys. I'm out.

NGDG: For a film about dwarves, it's awfully bloody long.

Spread The Love. Pass The Codeine And The Jack.

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