Thursday, January 24, 2013
Just another heading in an ongoing experiment, in which I aim to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that all internet users (at least those that know how to use the internet) are raging pervs. Hi. YOU clicked the link because YOU thought you were going to get some NSFW goodies, didn't you! Have none of you seen 'Thinner'?
Anyway, here we are again. Another day - another death - another disgusting show of moronic everything on the news. Today I skip that all and - having passed Begin and collected my R200 - proceed directly onto the awesome evening that awaits me on this fine ass day in the Mother City. Tonight it is my turn to Gordon Ramsey for the hordes. Well, I probably will never be able to emulate his culinary exploits, but I can curse like the proverbial motherfucking sailor. And be a real rotter of a dick, given half a chance.
I'm also going to visit the convalescing Rose Thorn, who is bedridden with stitches in her. The plan is to make her laugh as hard as possible to test the integrity of the stitches. Probably where the saying comes from. Although, I doubt mopping up blood will win me any humour prizes.
Also, I have successfully purchased my Fetish tickets. Whoohooo! This time I am going to watch the entire set. Make no mistake. I also have in my grubby paws my Metal4Africa Summerfest '13 tickets including the bus pass. THE bus pass. They put dozens of metalheads on a bus and allow us to drink all the way to Stellenbosch. Genius. Sozzled by the time the opening band starts!
And in the one scrap of good news for our tip of Africa here, our football team played some actual real live football yesterday. We beat our neighbouring Angola - a repeat of a very long war we fought in real life a few years ago. How times change. I'm glad that these days differences can be settled in 90 minutes on a lawn with a whistle. And the most offensive projectile one has to worry about is a vuvuzela flung at you by a disgruntled cabbage ravaging savage. I've NEVER understood the significance of suddenly producing coleslaw when a goal is scored...
But the day draws to a close all too quickly, and I have to go and clean my house and cook. If Martha Stewart issued capes...
NGDG: The Yuppie Nuremberg Defence
Spread The Love. Road Trips A Good Place To Start.