Please. We're British...
Yes, ladies and gentle-weepers, I am sporting a rather fetching new ("spanking", if you will...) orifice. Pretty adjacent to 'Old Faithful'. Why, you may ask. I'll tell you why. Oh, I'll tell you. Courtesy of the kind lads at Bulletscript - who very generously tore it for me. On Friday night. At United Underground II. At Mercury. And then to add insult to injury - literally - I was greased up for some Steel Panther sexy time by the Sabretooth boys. Add a couple of Black Label Drafts and a few tequilas and it's no wonder I ended the evening informing the car guard she was wasting her time and should rather concentrate on beauty pageants.
So, it would seem heavy metal is alive, well and kicking in some fucking teeth. The bands sounded glorious courtesy of Ian from Hellfire. The lighting was once again fantastic. Mercury Live - what a venue! The atmosphere couldn't have been better. Bulletscript opened proceedings with their trademark mid-paced ferocity. A sound as reminiscent of classic era Entombed as it is a burly, bastardised riff-o-rama of other influences, the boys did not disappoint. Obviously not pandering to stage theatrics or any discernible fashion statements, they allow the music to do the talking. Or rather, the barking and roaring. George "Teethgrinder" Schoombee on vocals is a stellar performer, his bulk, his experience and his sheer focused energy transforming every track into a venom fuelled anthem. Guitarists Jacques Hugo and Matt HT display the kind of impressive, intricate riffing that gives new meaning to the term "duck's arse", both occasionally deviating into a tasteful solo or single string accompaniment. Don't get me started on the drummer. The guy's a demon. And clearly these boys are into it. Not just a little bit, they're INTO IT, into it. The grooves are MASSIVE and the intention is clear, tonight Bulletscript is going to bludgeon you into submission. And you - and even more importantly, they - are going to enjoy it! And even more impressive is the fact that their own songs are as good, if not better than, the Carcass cover they included in their set. Take it from me, this is not the norm. 'Portent' was monumental, 'We Owe You Nothing' even more so, and the new stuff they closed the set with was simply the monstrous cherry on the cake! Perhaps it's just because I identify with that particular brand of metal, but I'd like to think that over the years I have developed an ear and an eye for something special. Look out for these guys. If THIS is the state of metal in Cape Town (or even the country) right now, we're in for a serious treat. Catch their next performance at this weekend's Metal4Africa Summerfest '13. I'll be there, singing their praises.
And then Sabretooth came on. Hair, hard-ons and harmonies, these guys are the ultimate band if you're into melody-driven metal that will either leave you dry-mouthed and awestruck or jumping up and down having the time of your life. They look the part, they act the part, but more importantly they PLAY the part. Never before has there been such a veritable who's who of virtuosos under one name and one banner. Horns held high, the crowd certainly appreciated another impeccable performance.
By this stage I was already well into the belligerent phase of my evening's alcohol intake and so shall refrain from repeating what I had to say about the other acts. Mike, I love the fact that you understand, mate! You're a scholar and a gent!
Black Label Draft, fuck you! But I love you...
More to follow this afternoon.
Spread The Love. It Puts The Lotion On Itself...
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