PUMP ACTION - FOR THE LADIES.

Bet you can't take these puppies to the local basketball court...
They'd look bloody good at a fetish ball though. I wonder what happened to those. We used to have so many here in Cape Town. Miss that. I'd be the only boring git in normal clothes, generally pissed out of my mind, leering at the barely clothed beauties. Most nights I'd just get exasperated sighs aimed at me, or scowls of pity. One night I was very severely admonished for attempting to claim ownership of the resident flogger's whip. Luckily I didn't get on my moer with it...

The suspensions is where I draw the line though. I can't imagine what kind of catatonic shock you must go into to not pass out from the pain. No thank you. Me, myself and my gauche, leather clad arse would rather remain at the bar. Attempting a far more elegant form of suicide.

Anyway, as you may have derived from my utter lack of content today, I utterly lack content today. Absolutely nothing happened yesterday, funny or otherwise. I cleaned my living room and played with my lego. Really. At least tonight promises to be a fun evening jam packed with hilarity, wine and guffaws aplenty. You guessed it. I'm making dinner for Tarty Farty Tequila Party, to welcome her back from her Southern African Adventure.

And don't get me started on the news. I recently attempted to watch The Fountain. It's a very serious movie starring Huge Ackman and Rachel Weiss. And it's very, very long. And I didn't study film. And there was a lot of very fucking meaningful staring going on. It has 3 intertwining story lines set in different times. It's intensity is outweighed only by it's inherent sadness. I didn't make it to the end of the movie. It was far too sad. But NOTHING compared to the the news I watched last night. Just in general. Fuck, this country - and indeed the world - is so absolutely utterly fucked it's not funny. And although THAT OTHER BLOGGER keeps banging on about how wonderful it is here, and that is the only thing on which we agree, yesterday I found it really hard to maintain my optimism.

And on that delightful note I leave you, my learned and sophisticated reader. May your evening hold as much joy and laughter as mine is bound to.

NGDG: Seven return flights to France, all the pasta and Gatorade you can eat, $30m and Sheryl Crow's sweet loving. Who need integrity? And if he doesn't jump on Oprah's couch, he's already automatically not the biggest wanker in the USA.

Spread The Love. Get Them Heels In The Air!