FAKE EVERYTHING!

Bless Barrulus... Another one with blogolitis and responsible for finding this beaut of a pic.

Today we celebrate Fake Irreverent Friday. Tomorrow we i-Votela, hence the day off. I trust most of you are taking to the ballots and casting your vote as is your constitutional right. Much the same as it is your constitutional right to experience the delightful array of life threatening activities on offer in our fair land.

But on to more important matters. Don't you just love the pic? Eh!? They say a picture speaks a thousand works, and granted, this one has some of its own, but isn't it too brilliant? Not in some deliberately debauched way either. If we're honest with ourselves both men and women are can to be quite liking this progression - obviously from entirely different perspectives. It's just so right. So coherent...

It seems society has long since decided on the appropriate behaviour required to be a respectable lady...

Everything except those faked orgasms. What's the point? I would imagine you'd have to be a thespian (yes, I said thespian) of note in order to deliver a convincing enough performance. Just remember, if he isn't doing it right enough for you to decimate pillows and buck like a gazelle being savaged by a crocodile, then he probably simply doesn't give enough of a fuck if you're getting off anyway, and you're probably better off without this individual.
But even then, why fake? Surely the best course of action is to guide or instruct the huffing sweaty oaf - it could only benefit you in the future.
Faking merely perpetuates the illusion among sexually selfish men that they're doing it right.

I would imagine...

I can't tell if anyone has ever faked it with me. Mainly because any such incident would, by virtue of the length of time since my last dalliance, be lost in the mists of time...

So go and vote tomorrow. Vote to maintain the status quo. Vote to keep Late Night News with Loyiso Golo in workable material. Vote for change. Vote for anything. Vote for anyone. Vote for the Customs Tax to be lowered on the imported Rampaging Rabbits, or whatever they're called.
Vote for choice. Vote for every single band in the Universe (I mean Facebook) that needs your vote to have more votes than every other band. Vote for free toasters. Vote for fake orgasms. PUT YOUR EX DOWN! (That seems quite a popular sport already...)

Spread The Love. You Know You've Been Unwittingly Groomed For It All These Years.