Tuesday, May 24, 2011


If you didn't know any better, you'd think I was referring to a new kiddies program on the BBC, wouldn't you?

Some sort of educational program involving a household pest instructing our impressionable youth on the times tables... But you very well know it as an instruction from the Good Book, when mankind was issued forth into the world to be "fruitfly and multiple..." I think some of them too, may just have got it wrong.

It has recently occurred to me that, although I have preposterously high standards, these should in fact be raised. Because if my previous assertions on the subject are anything to go by, the characteristics and attributes that define the ultimate attraction in the fairer sex are permanently being refined and redefined as we journey through life.

So I have been thinking about adding to The List...

Not today, though.

I know.

It's far too late in the game to sufficiently compress my thoughts into coherent bite size snippets that could fit into The List. Well, today anyway. But suffice it to say, I have most certainly added criteria. I now, even more than before, lament my eternal celibacy.

Which conveniently brings us to the subject of today's pointless post. Alcohol. We all love us a pint every now and then. Some more than others. In fact there are a growing number of us that revel in being known as functional alcoholics. Now I was always brought up believing that "alcoholic" was an ugly word. Like "lose" or "hippy" or "no, only OVER the sweater..."

But in our current liberal climate of acceptance, we have come to embrace our "disease" (as some people like to put it). I'd much rather accept the fact that I can get bladdered every night and still do my job every day than say, the existence of Justin Beiber. THAT is an indictment on modern society if ever there was one. Hey, I even manage the odd literary contribution - hangover or not.

And on that absolutely irrelevant note, I'm off. I have cleared my schedule for the evening and am looking forward to a wonderful night in my own company, keeping comfy and warm and not doing much at all. Perhaps I'll stop on the way home and pick up some Old Brown Sherry.

Spread The Love. "Be Fruitfly and Multiple." Be on the lookout for List Updates.

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