This post concerns itself with the New Rules. For now we will limit the discussion to the New Rules as they apply to writing a blog post, and they are as follows:
- Troll the intrawebs for a ridiculous/funny/obnoxious/sexual/retarded picture.
- Stick picture at top of post.
- Make shit up as you go along.
- Be sure to include a link to Tarty Farty Tequila Party...
- Make some more shit up.
- Write it all down and format into conveniently numbered bullet points.
- Add another point to see how far you can stretch the patience of your readers.
- Comment on how ridiculous/funny/obnoxious/sexual/retarded the picture is that you posted.
- Note how the picture has nothing to do with the content of the post.
- End off with a final point using the words "and in conclusion."
On a more serious note, there are apparently rules governing the behaviour of ex partners, and they,laconically, are like so:
- Run away.
- Find instant gratification in another state.
- Sever all ties.
- Lie.
On to more rosy subject matter, then...
Tonight, a few intrepid friends and I are going to brave the Arctic conditions and play our usual Tuesday evening football game. Afterwards we have been invited for a culinary delight and a boozy reward. That's right! Tarty Farty Tequila Party is cooking Soccer Supper for the lads! This can only end badly... Although apparently she has done the dishes.
And in even more news. I have so far managed to evade the greasy, grimy, corrupt clutches of the Traffic Authorities. Let us all hope and pray that this remains the case. Roadblock schmoadblock!
Also, due to communication breakdown, Rose Thorn cooked stew for dinner last night. I now have enough stew in my home to feed the five thousand. And considering I'm eating out tonight and Thursday, I might just look like stew by the end of next week!
As long as I don't look like my mate Stew, I suppose it's all good. That could get confusing.
And in conclusion, Spread The Love...
Yes, Tarty did the bloody dishes at 1am this morning!! Sigh ... my hedonistic lifestyle is getting the better of me.
ReplyDeleteYou should learn to do the dishes before everyone a) leaves, and b) gets too plastered to make short work of it.
ReplyDeleteWe have that down to a fine art and everybody chips in with no questions asked :)
I have a different view on that one. When you come to my house you don't do the dishes. And when I come to yours, I don't do them either!
ReplyDelete