Monday, May 30, 2011


I BET you you didn't ride a pink horse. Life would have been sooo sweet if you had though...

Well, I hope you all had a great weekend. Hope you got to live out your fantasies. Or drown your sorrows, whichever is the most applicable.

My weekend was quite good, thanks for asking. Boys Braai on Saturday afternoon was chilled and included some (apparently) R45 a shot Kentucky Bourbon. The evening was spent watching a fantastically one sided football match. Unfortunately I am a Man Utd supporter. My mood on getting to my Brother In Awe's birthday party was dismal. Luckily the room was full of friends and enough booze to cater a Tony Yengeni release-from-prison party.

Tart was there in all her hedonistic glory, offering people shots from the coolest shot paddle ever made, and then thumping people on the arse with it. Cue much gleeful shrieking. I woke up the next morning on the 'Futon Of A 1000 Aches' and proceeded to gingerly make my way home.

Gathering up all the courage I could muster I donned the work clothes and started the arduous process of tiling the rest of the kitchen. You could tell I have been putting this off for a while because I couldn't find the tile adhesive or the grouting. Mad dash off to Builders Warehouse and wouldn't you know it... there in all it's splendour as I walk in the door back at my house, is the effing tile adhesive. Oh well, now I definitely have enough.

After much drilling, tiling and standing back and admiring my handiwork between bouts of prolific profanity, it was time to pack up and watch Top Gear, a Sunday tradition.

Then it was time to make dinner. I have recently become seemingly proficient at stews so decided to try my hand at the Irish variety. I think. Tick [proficient] and move up to [fantastical wonder chef]...

And then there was this morning. All these desperate reports of roadblocks scaring the life out of the general public, especially me, considering I view paying a speeding fine with the same special contempt reserved for TV Licences. I came in to work on the weekend and paid every outstanding fine on, but I'm sure they missed a few. In fact I know they missed a few...

I even went and got my Dad's bakkie, seeing as the offences against my name would be picked up using one of those licence-plate-identifying-gizmos and my Dad's car is "clean".

Then, to make absolutely sure I took the long way to work. Via Hout Bay.

Well, FUCK ME if they didn't have a roadblock this morning! Bastard swine! And nothing in the news either.

I think I'm taking the pink speed stead to work tomorrow.

Oh yes, and I am now a qualified meteoroligist. Like that oke from eTV, Derek Van Dam I'm Fine! I can tell you why it is storming. Anti-B-Logger actually blogged....

Spread The Love. And If You See A Traffic Official, Spread It Head On At High Speed.

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